Last year, Tom and Eleanor invited me to lunch. A formidable group sat round the table, neighbours or friends from Oxford. Over the decades, I've enjoyed so many similar meals whether at Worple, Palewell or Coval Roads. Each event followed the same pattern. There was intense discussion punctuated by laughter. Eleanor presided at the head of the table, while Tom at the other end regaled us with anecdotes that had everyone in stitches.
Arriving for that lunch in 2023, I had a sense of deja vu. It was a classic Tom-and-Eleanor occasion with friends acquired decades previously. We lingered well into the afternoon. Nothing had changed, even the layout of the room was a look-a-like of Palewell Road. My abiding memory is of Eleanor laughing as she served from the kitchen island.
I first heard of Eleanor in 1967. I was living in Bloomsbury, a convenient stop-off for Hugh, to whom I was engaged. He was already enrolled at the Institute of Education. There he met Eleanor in a lift; and later told me about his new friend, a feisty historian also doing a PGCE. How many bright students from Godolphin & Latymer School owe their academic success to Eleanor's passion for history?
Before the end of that decade, we visited Tom and Eleanor in their first married home in Worple Road, and so began a continuing friendship. The years went by, but Eleanor never changed. Her integrity was absolute, her intelligence supreme. Behind these mighty attributes, was a loyal, generous friend to many people. She flew to the USA to keep in touch with family, and looked after Tom's and her parents when they became frail, and other elderly relatives. It was Eleanor who contacted me after my marriage ended to arrange a succession of dinners at Sofra with her and Tom, followed by a film at the Curzon Mayfair.
Eleanor will remain vividly in our mind's eye. We remember her as someone who refused to compromise her principles, forever an example of how to live a good and full life; how to be practical, not sentimental; how to be kind without ostentation; how to be positive, regardless of circumstance; and how to deal with challenges with dignity and fortitude. She has set us an example very hard to follow, and touched all our lives, making us better people.
With love and gratitude for the friendship of such a remarkable person.
Mary Purcell
13th January 2024